I have a really bad problem with pride and jealously the more and more life goes on. Its hard not to have pride because I may not think of myself as perfect or anything good. I also may not have problems with getting told I have mistakes either. Though I have a problem with myself. I dream of being some perfect person who can do all the things I dream but I am not I am not even special. I am normal I am just a normal girl from America who has nothing to offer. I can not sing, dance, or draw though I can write kinda and I am creative. Though it seems as the years go on my imagination goes and so does my creativity. I get scared that one day I will not have my creativity because that all I have known and its who I am. My Pride goes a long with my jealously as well. I know I live in a fairy tale world sometimes and I know I have unrealistic dreams but I do not want to let any of that go. Those things are who I am those things are the only thing I have left of the old me. My dreams are what keep me happy and what keep close to being childlike and creative as well. Though they also hurt me because all of the things I dream about I believe will maybe happen one day but realistically I do not know. I strive to be special or perfect in so many things that it hurts me. I personally do not believe in being the best anymore. I used to try to be the best and sometimes I try to be with certain things. Though it is because for once I want to be special and I want to love myself and to stop being less then all the time. Though as I think and put my fleshy problems away I know spiritual no one is the best and that we are special. Even in the bible it says we are unique because we all truly are unique. Though its hard to realize that with my jealously problem I have. I may not have a strong spiritual gift of seeing but I know I will help people and glorify God. I may not be special or I may not of had any amazing and wonderful things happen to me but I know God thinks everything is amazing and beautiful in me. I may not be able to sing like an angel or high but God loves when I sing to praise him. I may not be a lot of things or anything but to God I am something. what I have to try to remember when I worry. God is the answer to everything he truly is.
Pride and Jealously
