Pride and Jealously

I have a really bad problem with pride and jealously the more and more life goes on. Its hard not to have pride because I may not think of myself as perfect or anything good. I also may not have problems with getting told I have mistakes either. Though I have a problem with myself. I dream of being some perfect person who can do all the things I dream but I am not I am not even special. I am normal I am just a normal girl from America who has nothing to offer. I can not sing, dance, or draw though I can write kinda and I am creative. Though it seems as the years go on my imagination goes and so does my creativity. I get scared that one day I will not have my creativity because that all I have known and its who I am.  My Pride goes a long with my jealously as well. I know I live in a fairy tale world sometimes and I know I have unrealistic dreams but I do not want to let any of that go. Those things are who I am those things are the only thing I have left of the old me. My dreams are what keep me happy and what keep close to being childlike and creative as well. Though they also hurt me because all of the things I dream about I believe will maybe happen one day but realistically I do not know. I strive to be special or perfect in so many things that it hurts me. I personally do not believe in being the best anymore. I used to try to be the best and sometimes I try to be with certain things. Though it is because for once I want to be special and I want to love myself and to stop being less then all the time. Though as I think and put my fleshy problems away I know spiritual no one is the best and that we are special. Even in the bible it says we are unique because we all truly are unique. Though its hard to realize that with my jealously problem I have.  I may not have a strong spiritual gift of seeing but I know I will help people and glorify God. I may not be special or I may not of had any amazing and wonderful things happen to me but I know God thinks everything is amazing and beautiful in me. I may not be able to sing like an angel or high but God loves when I sing to praise him. I may not be a lot of things or anything but to God I am something. what I have to try to remember when I worry. God is the answer to everything he truly is.

Life is not a Fairy tale

All my life i have struggled with the real world and fairy tale world.  As a child i was exposed to some scary things though that was so i can grow and help others. By exposed i mean i saw things and i still do. I have the gift of seeing demons and other scary things. I have gotten attacked by them and i still do not know what all is happening but i know they are controlling my life. You see as Christians we want to hide our children away from things so we home school them or we want our daughters to be perfect little princess who do not lust and are pure. Though that is not the world and God would not want you to hide your children from what is here. There is true evil here though the thing about it is the evil will never win. God is more powerful God knows all and he will always win. Though i wish i could be raised to be a perfect little princess who had a happy life and was pure and stuff of that sort God had a different path for me. He wants me to help people through the struggles and things i have gone through. You see i personally hate purity culture for it destroys lives. You do not know what people have been through or what happens to them to say its their mistake there is a lot in this world and things are more deep down then what it appears on the surface.  I am not saying to sleep around but i believe if you want to have sex wait until your 30 can provide for a child. Though sadly other things happen in life and this is not realistic and i just hope i can help people who had struggles like me so purity culture will not destroy any more lives.

Gods Princess

We are all Princesses to God

As you can tell from my title i have always wanted to be a princess. With all the things that came with being a princess. Being innocent, childlike, pure, loved by all and being able to help other people and animals. Even the items that came with being a princess have always made me happy like the ballgowns, tiaras and castles even magic. Though that was my fantasy world that i could escape to because my life was no fairy tale. It was the opposite basically it was a world of nightmares. Though in this post it is not about my life so i will get back to the the article. Well you see i stumbled across this picture when i was seeking help for something i will explain later. The moment i looked at this i just had to post about it for it truly made me happy. Well the way i see it is we are all princesses even though our lives are not perfect we are still princesses to our Father who loves us more then anything. We are not princesses because of how pure we are or how ladylike we are because what God really want is our heart that’s all we wants. I just want everyone to know that they are princesses and special no matter what because God will always love you.